"Is the Lesson Worth the Punishment?"
After confronting the raw horror of Judges 19—the abuse, the betrayal, and the final, unthinkable act of dismemberment—it’s impossible not to ask the most challenging question of all: Is the 'lesson' of obedience worth the price paid by the innocent victim?
I want to take a moment and be completely raw with you. This is the question that has always stopped my understanding.
Exodus 20:5 states, “I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected— even the children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me.”
My life has always shown the very deep wounds of generational trauma. My life began when I was born from an unmedicated schizophrenic. A prostitute. An abuser. A mother. A sister. A daughter. From age 2-5, I took care of myself and my sister, who is two years younger than me. In the words of “took care,” I genuinely mean that. At age 4, I was finding ourselves food (and what do kids like? Candy, sweets, junk food) and changing mine and my sister’s diapers. I was drinking from a bottle till I was 4 years old. I was locked in dark rooms for long periods of time. CPS finally stepped in, and we were then taken into foster care. In the system, I was physically and sexually abused again. I was then adopted into a home biologically distant from the one I had known. In this home, I was again abused. From birth to age 15, I had been physically, sexually, mentally, and emotionally abused by every parental figure as well as the males I was supposed to rely on. Every year since 5th grade to 2023, I would attempt (sometimes multiple times a year) suicide. I had done every form of self-harm from cutting, burning, etc. I say this not for your pity but for you to understand why this verse, our concubine story, the injustice, and evil of this world destroyed my relationships not only with God but everyone.
Exodus 20:5 to me is a lesson of obedience that will be repeated each generation until someone finally learns. And you want me to believe that this God who said it is kind? loving? patient? all knowing and powerful? But there is profound unspeakable evil in this world. We began this series with the story of the Concubine in Judges 19, and we stopped with the necessity of Free Will. The concept in Exodus 34:7—that the sins of the fathers affect the children to the third and fourth generation. It seems to directly contradict fairness and fuels the exact cycle of inherited trauma and abuse you see in the world, including the horrors of Judges 19. We are connecting this concept precisely to the cycle of abuse and inherited sin—trauma passes down because the negative consequences of the previous generation's actions (like the men of Gibeah in Judges 19) continue to shape the environment for the next. To address this, the Bible provides a crucial clarification of Exodus 34:7 elsewhere, separating the inherited consequences from individual guilt. The initial context of Exodus 34:6-7 is a description of God's character after the people had destroyed the covenant with the Golden Calf.
Exodus 34:6: Starts with grace—God is "merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness". This is the primary emphasis.
Exodus 34:7: Ends with justice—God "will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children...".
This phrase acts as a warning that sin has natural, detrimental consequences that destroy families and communities. It is the reality of trauma and abuse being passed down through generations (exactly what we observe).
I mean, is the lesson really worth the punishment? NO. The girl was a sex slave and sexually assaulted so severely she died! Then gets cut up into 12 pieces by a maniac. Like, who is cutting people up like that? 1) He is mentally ill. 2) Either so heartbroken or angry but definitely mentally ill. Like free will? THIS IS INSANE. And maybe that shows my knowledge and not Gods knowledge. I just do not see how this big lesson of listen and worship god is worth the reality of Gods children who are victims like this by sin that has travelled down generations. She didn’t have a choice! Like, we don’t know her name or even beforehand we just see this horrible, horrible news and it’s more than likely happening now! I mean, how far does the devil get to go? Is the love by humans really that necessary to God for this much collateral damage? No. No. Scratch the whole thing and try again. Because this ain’t it. I mean, how long will the devil throw this tantrum of control? I mean, I really think the devil is just a toddler! Instead of taking accountability, he or it or whatever the correct pronoun is, just drags every single person he can. And God knows that? The lesson or human love just ain’t it.
The story of the Levite's concubine is not presented as a "lesson worth the punishment" but as the ultimate sign of Israel's total moral collapse. Her death is a tragedy, and the text blames the whole nation for it. The story is placed at the end of Judges to shock the reader. The narrator is saying, "Look how horrible things got." The man who dismembers her is presented as mentally broken, angry, and acting out of a total disregard for human life and dignity—a clear example of a mental breakdown. The act of cutting up her body and sending the pieces was not rational, but it served a dramatic purpose: to visually and viscerally shock the tribes of Israel into demanding accountability and justice against the men of Gibeah who committed the atrocity. It was a desperate and horrifying plea for an end to the anarchy.
"Why have this world continue?" is found not in a single verse, but in the repeated connection between two core concepts: God’s Patience and the ultimate goal of Repentance and Redemption.
“The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” Exodus 34:6 This verse confirms that restraint and a willingness to delay judgment is fundamental to who God is, not a temporary strategy.
“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9. The world continues because God's intent is to allow time for people to turn away from sin (like the kind in Judges 19) and find redemption.
“And count the patience of our Lord as salvation...” 2 Peter 3:15. This connects God's delay directly to the opportunity for rescue. Every day the final judgment is delayed is another day of opportunity for "God's children who were victims" to be spared eternal consequences and for "maniacs" to repent.
Let’s pause! Lets go back to the last point, Every day the final judgment is delayed is another day of opportunity for "God's children who were victims" to be spared eternal consequences. Eternal consequences? What even does that mean? Why are victims facing consequences? Eternal consequences is a broad theological terms about all people (including victims) who have not yet committed their lives to God. “Eternal consequences” are the long-lasting results of a person’s life and decisions, usually seen as two opposite outcomes:
Eternal Life: Salvation and everlasting relationship with God, granted through faith.
Eternal Separation/Punishment: Everlasting separation from God for those who reject Him or His offer of salvation.
The choices made during one's earthly life—faith, belief, actions, and rejection of God—are portrayed as having lasting effects on their ultimate destiny. The Bible's message of patience applies to everyone still alive, regardless of their circumstances, because all people are viewed as standing in need of God's grace and forgiveness. A victim who dies having suffered great evil, but who had not yet repented and placed faith in God, would still face the eternal consequences of judgment based on their own response to God. God's patience ("not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance" - 2 Peter 3:9) extends the time for everyone, including victims of injustice and suffering, to make a saving decision before the final judgment. If a victim of the Judges 19 horror had survived and lived a long life but continued to reject God, they would still be separated from God in the afterlife. The delay of the final judgment is God's grace, giving them more time to turn to Him for salvation.
🫵🏻 The Victims Responsibility
The most critical truth for every victim of generational sin and abuse is found in God's declaration:
“The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.” (Ezekiel 18:20)
This is the ultimate clarity: Your eternal responsibility is yours alone. The individual guilt (the moral debt) belongs solely to the person who committed the sin. But here is the painful reality of the cycle of abuse:
The previous generation's unpaid guilt remains with them.
The consequences of their sin—the trauma, the violence, the emotional rot, and the dysfunctional environment (the very reality described in Exodus 34:7)—are brutally inherited by the next generation. What we inherit is the consequence, not the spiritual debt. The "fathers" (the abusers) committed the sin, leaving behind unpaid guilt (the moral debt). What victims inherit is the cycle of abuse—the trauma, the moral decay, and the hostile environment. This powerful truth liberates the victim: your struggle is real.
This truth—that the guilt is not yours—is the moment of liberation, but liberation requires action. If we do not carry the guilt, what is the victim's "responsibility" in stopping the cycle of abuse and trauma? It is the responsibility to heal, to choose differently, and to pursue transformation for yourself and future generations!
This involves:
The Choice: The first step in breaking the cycle is the conscious, continuous choice not to allow the trauma inflicted upon you to be passed on to others. The inherited environment taught you abuse; your individual choice is to actively learn and practice love and health.
The Effort: While the spiritual guilt is paid for by Christ (as we will discuss), the consequences (the trauma, the triggers, the emotional coping mechanisms) remain. Your responsibility is to pursue healing and restoration—whether through counseling, community, or faith—to heal the deep trauma that remains in your mind and body.
The Spiritual Act: As the verses on Divine Patience confirm, every person—victims included—needs to repent (turn away) from the sins they commit in response to the trauma (anger, self-harm, addiction, etc.). The delay in judgment is an opportunity for you to choose life and faith, thereby making a saving decision for your own soul, regardless of the darkness that surrounds you.
This action is not about earning forgiveness; it is about claiming the freedom that Ezekiel 18:20 declares: Your soul is yours, and you have the power to choose a path free from the inherited doom. This choice is the beginning of the individual redemption that the New Testament offers.
God's Patience and the Final End to Evil
The Apostle Peter wrote this passage to Christians who were questioning why Jesus had not yet returned (the "delay" we are asking about). Peter's answer redefines the reason for the delay:
"The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." Peter is arguing that God is not slow; He is being patient. The delay in the final judgment is due to God's desire to give more time for people to turn from their sin (repentance) and be saved, ensuring that all who can be saved are given the opportunity. 2 Peter 3:9
"And count the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you according to the wisdom given him..." Peter explicitly connects God's patience directly to the process of salvation. This means that every day the world continues is a day that offers salvation to those who have not yet received it. This concept explains why the world continues despite the horrific evil seen in Judges 19—it is to allow the possibility of salvation for both victims and evildoers alike. 2 Peter 3:15
The Book of Revelation is a vision of the end times and the establishment of a "new heaven and a new earth". This is the biblical promise for a time when the evil and suffering seen in Judges 19 will be permanently eliminated.
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” Revelation 21:4. This verse describes the time after the final judgment and the creation of a new, perfect dwelling place for God and humanity. This is the ultimate answer to the question of suffering—the promise that the pain and horror you read about (and that happens today) are temporary, and God Himself will abolish them forever.
The Bible's answer to the question "Why continue?" is that the world is continuing right now because of God's patient offer of salvation (2 Peter 3:9, 15), and it will eventually conclude with God's decisive act of justice and the elimination of all pain (Revelation 21:4). The solution to the inherited consequences (Exodus 34:7) is the individual choice for repentance and faith (Ezekiel 18:20 and 2 Peter 3:9). The cross is presented as the moment where Jesus absorbs the full weight of the accumulated sin (the guilt you were worried about paying). He suffers the "worse situation" you mentioned, becoming the ultimate victim who breaks the cycle of judgment and allows individual victims to find forgiveness and healing. The Book of Judges 19 shows the horrific consequences of inherited sin; Ezekiel 18 assures you the guilt is not yours; and the New Testament (Jesus' life and death) offers the power to break free from that cycle and find a new beginning.
🛐 A Prayer for Strength to Break the Cycle
"Merciful God,
We thank You for the truth found in Ezekiel: that the guilt of the past is not ours to carry.We lay down the heavy burden of our ancestors' sins and the spiritual debt that was never ours to pay. But Lord, we confess that the consequences—the trauma, the pain, the fear, and the inherited patterns of abuse—still reside within us. We ask now for the strength to actively choose a new path. We pray that as we seek our own individual redemption through You, we may truly break the cycle of abuse and trauma, leading ourselves and those who follow us into Your light and freedom.
Amen."
The declaration of Ezekiel 18:20 gives us freedom from guilt, but it doesn't instantly heal the trauma. To break the cycle of abuse, we need more than a ruling; we need a Healer who understands the complexities of the human mind. Join me in Post 3 as we will examine the biblical evidence for Christ’s empathy. We will analyze his experiences—the wilderness fast, the betrayal, and the agony—through a clinical lens to demonstrate exactly why he is qualified to not just forgive your sin, but to heal your deepest, most inherited wounds.