My Name, My Mess, My Mission

Colorful illustrated page with flowers, birds, butterflies, and insects surrounding a biblical quote from John 1:1 about the word being with God.

My Story

Welcome. My name is Maria, and by day, I am a pediatric nurse here in Texas. But by night—and in the quiet moments between shifts—I’m often wrestling with God through His word while battling my own limitations. If you've ever prayed, cried, and read the Bible only to still feel deeply flawed, anxious, or fundamentally messy, you are in the right place.

I am living proof that our flaws don't disqualify us; they refine us. I am bipolar, a self-proclaimed control-freak, loud, anxious, and yes, the list continues. I am my own worst enemy, often burdened by the harshest critics in my own head. Yet, as I grow in awareness of God's unshakable presence, I am learning the beautiful paradox: that the very flaws that burden me actually make me the perfect vessel for His will.

A young woman with glasses, short wavy hair, wearing a turquoise tank top and a white cardigan, sitting on a brown leather couch, smiling, resting her head on her hand, with a tattoo visible on her arm, in a cafe with framed artwork on the wall and blue chairs in the background.

The Purpose of the Cracks

This blogs foundation is the belief that Grace Flows Through the Cracks. We reject the idea that faith must be flawless or pain-free. Instead, we embrace 2 Corinthians 12:9: God's power is made perfect in weakness.

  • My Pain is my Expertise: My personal struggles—with anxiety, mental health, and self-doubt—are not wasted. They are my qualification for ministry, allowing me to deliver comfort and empathy with genuine understanding.

  • My Limitations are My Channel: My flaws enforce my dependence on God. They ensure that the power and love you find here are His, not mine, and prove that God uses the shaking, ordinary vessel to carry His light to the world.

How We Study

We dive into the Bible using an Inductive Study method, focusing on the hard questions and the uncomfortable texts. We don't settle for surface-level answers. Instead, we commit to:

  • Wrestling: Honestly grappling with passages that challenge our assumptions about Modern Life.

  • Applying: Moving beyond simply reading the text to fulfilling our core mission beautifully voiced by Lysa TerKeurst:

    • Love is about what I can give to the world, not what I can get.

Open book with highlighted Bible verses and colorful decoration. The highlighted text reads: 'I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime— until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.' The decoration includes a colorful butterfly drawing and the words 'I will care for you' with a decorative wreath and the scripture reference Isaiah 46:4.
Two women sitting at a table inside a coffee shop, smiling at the camera. One woman has dark hair, glasses, and tattoos, wearing a sleeveless denim jacket. The other woman has gray hair, glasses, and is wearing a red top. There are two cups on the table, and large windows showing parked cars outside.
Group of six people standing outside a building, celebrating a graduation. The person in the middle is wearing caps and gowns, holding a bouquet of flowers, and has a colorful sash and shawl.
A young man with short dark hair, a small beard, and a mustache sitting next to a young woman with shoulder-length dark hair, wearing a black hat, at a wooden table in a dimly lit bar or restaurant. They are smiling and have drinks in front of them — a cocktail and a beer. The background has string lights, wooden walls, and bar decor.