The Practice of the Presence

Living in the "And"

I’ve spent this series traveling through the messy halls of my very cluttered mind. I started with the fear of being fully known and moved into the relief of realizing that God is in the "air vent," holding space for us even when we are too burnt out to speak! As the 2026 calendar starts to fill up—as the overtime hours stack, and the house keys move closer to my hand (speaking on Faith with that one)—I’m left with one final question: How do I keep this peace when the world gets loud again?

The Reality of the "And"

The most important thing I’ve learned is that I don’t have to wait for my "mean voice" to disappear before I can hear God. I’ve spent my life thinking I had to be 100% "good" before I could be 100% "His."

But the truth is, I will always be a woman who exists in the "And."

• I am a woman who struggles with her mouth and a woman who can speak life into a patient.

• I am a woman who feels overstimulated by a to-do list and a woman who is fearfully and wonderfully made.

• I am a woman who sometimes feels God is silent and a woman who knows He never leaves the room.

I used (speaking on faith with this!) to treat rest and God’s presence like a reward I earned for finishing my to-do list. But for an "energizer bunny" like me, the list never ends! If I wait until I’m "finished" to spend time with God, I’ll be waiting forever. Psalm 139 doesn't say God waits for us at the end of the day. It says He is already there—in the morning, in the night, in the heavens, and in the depths. My goal for 2026 isn't to work harder for God; it's to practice noticing that He is already in the fabric of my busy life. He is in the guest list. He is in the savings account. He is in the "air vent."

Moving Forward

I am ending this series not because I’m "cured" of my self-criticism, but because I’m finished letting it lead. I’m stepping into this year with a "well-instructed tongue," choosing to narrate my life with the same empathy I give to everyone else. And giving myself the grace of when I make my own mistakes!

I’m keeping my browser tabs open, but I’m letting God be the WiFi that connects them all.

Reflection Questions

Take a moment to sit in the "air vent" and answer these for yourself:

1. What is one "tab" in your brain that you’ve been trying to keep hidden from God? How does it feel to realize He’s already in that tab with you?

2. If you were to advocate for yourself today with the same empathy you give your friends, what would you say to the person in the mirror?

3. How can you practice "keeping company" with Jesus this week without it feeling like another chore on your to-do list?

A Final Prayer

"Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being the God of the 'And.' Thank You for loving me when I am smart and when I am impulsive; when I am faithful and when I am burnt out. As I walk into the goals of 2026, help me to remember that my worth is not a paycheck, a house, or a perfect wedding—it is found in the fact that You knit me together and called me 'wonderful.' Give me a holy stubbornness to believe Your truth over my feelings.

Amen."