Who Am I When I’m Doing "Nothing"?
We’ve talked about the "Shift" and we’ve "Tone-Checked" the voice of God. But now we have to deal with the biggest hurdle of all: Self-Worth. 😬 In my "Get off my neck" prayer, I told God, "My worth is already low." I felt like I had to tithe, stay in a morning routine, and be 108301840% "on" just to keep my head above water. I felt like a servant trying to stay employed rather than a daughter sitting at the table. But here is the honest truth: Your worth is a constant, not a variable. It doesn’t go up when you’re "good" and it doesn’t go down when you’re broke and yelling at the ceiling!
The "Fact Sheet" vs. The "Feeling"
When we open our Bible and feel like a failure, we are (I AM!!) looking at your feelings. To fix that, you have to look at the Facts. Think of these as your "Identity Fact Sheet." This is who you are even on the days you don't open the Bible at all:
You are a Masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10): The Greek word for "handiwork" is poíēma. You are God’s poem. He isn't looking at you like a "fixer-upper" project; He’s looking at you like a piece of art He’s proud to show off!
You are "Completed" (Colossians 2:10): This is the one that killed (speaking heavy on faith with that word!) my "Performance" habit. It says in Christ, you have been brought to fullness. You aren't "half-finished." You aren't a work in progress that God is annoyed with. In His eyes, the work is done.
You are a Special Possession (1 Peter 2:9): You weren't a volunteer; you were chosen. You are "High Value" because the Creator of the Universe put His tag on you and said, "This one RIGHT HERE is Mine."
The "Fulfillment" Filter
The reason I used to feel so "kicked" by the Old Testament was because I was trying to fulfill the law myself. I was trying to be the "perfect sacrifice" Malachi talked about. But this reminded me of Galatians 2:21: "If righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!" If I could make God happy by tithing perfectly or never being "human," then Jesus wasted His time. When I say "I’m not doing enough," I’m accidentally saying "Jesus didn't do enough." And we know that’s not true. I told God I wanted my blessing like Jacob, even if we had to wrestle for it. What I realized is that the blessing was already mine; I just had to stop fighting the Person giving it to me.
I am a new creation. I am a citizen of Heaven. I am a friend of Jesus. Those aren't goals I'm working toward—that’s are my legal status right now!!!!
I’m still going to tithe, but not because I’m scared. I’m still going to read my Bible, but not because I’m trying to pass a test. I’m doing it from a place of Alignment.
I’m done being made small. I’m done with the headache. I’m stepping into the Grace, where the "Intelligence of the Universe" isn't looking for my perfection—He’s just looking for ME.
If you’ve been on this journey with me, I hope you hear this one thing today: You are already enough. Not because of what you did, but because of Who made you.
Stop begging. Start aligning.
"Resting in the Facts" Prayer
"God, today I am choosing to be still. I’m stepping off the treadmill of 'doing' 😬 and I’m finally sitting down in the reality of 'being.' Thank You, Lord, and I mean THANK YOU, that my worth isn't a score I have to keep up with; it’s a gift I get to graciously to accept. Thank You that when I do absolutely nothing—when I’m not tithing, not praying, and not being 'perfect'—You still look at me and see Your masterpiece. I’m stoping the fight to be 'enough.' I’m choosing to believe the Fact: that I am complete in You, that I am chosen, and that I am loved simply because I am Yours. I release the pressure to perform and I embrace the freedom to just be Your child. I am resting. I am finished. And I am enough.
Amen."
If you take nothing else from this series, take this: You can stop "fucking trying" to be perfect and start simply being present. The "strong effort" you’ve been putting in? God sees it. He honors it. But He doesn't need it to love you. He already does. You don't have to win the wrestle to get the blessing—the blessing was the fact that He stayed in the ring with you the whole time.
Where do we go from here?
The wrestle might come back. The "Lack" frequency might try to sneak into your prayers again. When that happens:
Check your Tone: Is that God talking, or your own fear?
Check your Facts: What does the "Fact Sheet" say about you?
Check your Signal: Are you begging for a rescue, or thanking Him for the one that’s already here?