Minding My Own Peace
I started my nursing journey ignoring the warning signs. The environment was toxic—and by toxic, I mean both the workplace and my own internal state. Before nursing school, I had worked across the healthcare spectrum: a CNA in nursing homes and home health, a hospital tech, a private live-in caregiver, and a volunteer. Yet, I had never been in a leadership role. Nursing school teaches you the clinical side, but it doesn't truly teach you how to be a nurse.
Starting at the Max Security Hospital an unhealed, young nurse brought me to reality real quick. On the floor, I was being cussed at and called every name in the book by patients and staff alike. Coworkers would walk out mid-shift, leaving an already understaffed floor even more vulnerable. Having just graduated, I was absolutely terrified of losing my dream.
As rumors and lies began to circulate, I’ll admit I didn’t handle the pressure well. When staff would yell at me, I would match their energy and go right back at them. However, I was also very aware that I was in over my head. I was constantly in my manager’s office asking for advice, always "telling on myself" first. If I snapped back at someone, I was honest with my manager about how I responded.
But somewhere in that chaos, the stories told by others began to outweigh the truth of who I was. I allowed the drama and the opinions of others to drag me down to an incredibly low place. My weight dropped from 185 to 150 pounds in about six weeks. That March, I was working six days a week with an hour-long commute. My hair started falling out, and I began ignoring serious warning signs regarding my own health.
I remember being in the hospital bathroom, watching blood clots pour out of me, knowing I was having a miscarriage. Instead of crying out for help, I cleaned myself up, heard the radio call for a restraint, and ran to the floor. Eventually, it all caught up to me when the bleeding wouldn't stop. I later found out I had been pregnant with twins; the bathroom incident was the loss of the first. I had to have a D&C. In that time of grief, I realized I truly did want children. I grieved the loss, but I also grieved the sudden realization of a desire I hadn't fully acknowledged before.
The Max Psych unit taught me a powerful lesson: in a world that thrives on "outrage culture" and constant public noise, there is a quiet strength in doing the opposite. Today, we will look at how we can protect our peace by focusing on our own path and avoiding the traps of deceit and division.
1 Thessalonians 4:11 tells us: “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: you should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you.”
Looking back at the bathroom floor, I know now that I was trying to survive the turmoil by becoming a part of it. I thought matching the energy of the toxic environment was the only way to keep my head above water; however, all it did was drown out the needs of my own body and soul. I was so busy “running to action” for a job that I missed the quiet cries of my own life.
I think this is why this verse resonates so deeply with me now. Leading a quiet life and minding your own business isn’t about being passive; it is about protecting the “quiet land” of our hearts. While we are called to be quiet, we must be cautious of those who use “quiet” as a weapon. Psalm 35:20 warns: “They do not speak peace, but they devise deceitful schemes against those who live quietly in the land.”
I lost a part of myself and my future in that hospital, but I gained a realization. There will always be people who mistake your peace for weakness or try to disrupt your focus with “deceitful schemes.” When we recognize this, it allows us to stay grounded. We don’t need to engage in their battles; we just need to remain aware and stand firm in our purpose. We are not appointed for the wrath of a toxic workplace (or any other environment that fits you) or the exhaustion of constant defense.
So how do we stay steady? 1 Thessalonians 3 reminds us that we are destined for trials, but we are called to stand firm. Paul’s encouragement here is a strong reminder that our faith is not just for easy days—it is an anchor that keeps us from being “shaken by these persecutions.” At the State Hospital—and if I am being honest, sometimes today—when the world feels chaotic and people are being deceptive, it is very easy to feel like it is all an attack. In 1 Thessalonians 5:9, we are given the ultimate perspective: “For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
As this verse reminds us, we are made for a higher purpose. Today, I choose to work with my hands and mind my own peace, knowing that my strength is not found in the volume of my response, but in the quietness of my soul. Although the book of 1 Thessalonians ends with chapter 5, Acts chapter 17 tells the story of how the church in Thessalonica began, which we will explore next time.
How will you respond to the noise? Will you let the “deceitful schemes” of others pull you down into darkness, or will you choose the “ambition of a quiet life”? We have to remember that we are not appointed to wrath—we are appointed for something much greater.