Flipping the Narrative (From Trauma to Truth)
I have often heard Moses described as the adjective of a murderer, and often times we see that throughout the Bible of those who were called by God that are labeled as their biggest mistakes to make them more relatable to ourselves. Not really sure if that is fair to them or really even ourselves. Yes, Moses murdered someone AND delivered a nation from slavery. I really see another aspect of him that really is myself. Moses had a massive crisis of confidence.
Before Moses went to Egypt, he was a mess. He was terrified, he didn't think he was good enough, and he kept trying to talk God out of picking him. In Exodus chapter 4, we encounter three significant lessons through the experiences of Moses.
Exodus 4:1-5: “The Staff and the Snake: Facing Your Fears,” involves Moses’ staff, which served as his “comfort object” and tool for his daily life as a shepherd. God tested Moses by instructing him to throw the staff down, causing it to transform into a snake. Naturally, Moses ran away in fear. However, God instructed him to reach out and grab the snake by the tail, the most frightening part. This act demonstrated that the thing Moses was fleeing from was under God’s control. By facing his fear, Moses saw the snake revert to a tool in his hand, teaching him a lesson in courage over instinct.
Exodus 4:6-9: “The Leprous Hand: Dealing with Internal Shame,” addresses Moses’ past, where he had killed a man in Egypt and spent 40 years in hiding, likely feeling “damaged” or “unclean.” God tested him by asking him to put his hand in his coat, which emerged covered in a repulsive skin disease. When Moses put it back in, it returned to normal. This lesson conveyed that God was aware of Moses’ “disease” and secrets but assured him that He could cleanse him instantly. It emphasized that Moses’ past did not prevent God from using him
Exodus 4:10-12: “The ‘Stuttering’ Excuse: Focusing on Your Weakness,” features Moses expressing his inability to speak properly, focusing on his disability rather than God’s capability. God countered by questioning who Moses thought had made the human mouth. The lesson here was that God was not seeking a polished speaker but a willing heart. He created Moses exactly as he was and promised to provide the words when needed. This teaches us that we often believe we must be “perfect” or “healed” before God can use us to help others. Yet, Moses, despite his fear, guilt, and speech impediment, was met by God in his struggles and given signs to prove that God’s power surpassed his problems.
When we feel inadequate for the life God is calling us to, we often make excuses like Moses did: “I can’t talk.” In today’s context, this might translate to “I don’t have the degree/the money/the talent.” God’s response remains the same:
“I’m the one who made your mouth,” or “I’m the one who gave you the life you have.”
God is not searching for “superstars” but for individuals willing to face their fears, trust in His presence, and embrace the roles He has for them.
I’ve realized something lately: I spend a lot of time in my writing talking about why I’m "not good enough." I point to my trauma like a receipt to prove why I feel inadequate. But I recently went down a rabbit hole about psychology, neural pathways, and the power of our words. If our thoughts literally shape our reality, then every time I say "I’m not enough," I’m just digging that hole deeper. The Bible says our words have the power of life and death. So today, I’m stopping the "death" talk. I’m taking the lessons of Moses—his fears, his shame, his excuses—and I’m replacing them with what God actually says about me.
Changing the Narrative:
LESSON 1: The Staff: From Fear of the Unknown to Divine Security: Moses was terrified of his own life turning into a "snake" the moment he let go of control. I’ve felt that—the fear that if I don’t hold onto everything perfectly, it’ll all fall apart!!
The Old Script: "If I lose control of my plan (the wedding, the finances, the career), everything will turn into a snake and bite me.”
The Hard Truth: The "Snake" doesn't go away just because you have faith.
Moses had to reach out and grab the very thing he was running from. In our lives, the "hard truth" is that life will continue to be unpredictable. Being "directed by God" doesn't mean my wedding will be perfect, that money won't be tight, or that life transitions won't be stressful. God doesn't promise to remove the snakes; He promises to give you the authority to handle them. You have to stop waiting for "peaceful circumstances" to feel confident. Confidence comes from realizing you can handle the chaos because you aren't doing it alone.
The Flip: God says I am Directed.
The Truth: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11).
My New Path: My life isn't a "snake" waiting to strike; it’s a path God has already walked. I am safe to let go.
LESSON 2: The Hand: From Internalized Shame to Radical Newness Moses hid his hand in his cloak, feeling "unclean" because of his past. My trauma used to make me feel like "damaged goods," like if people really saw the "hand" of my history, they’d be repulsed.
The Old Script: "My trauma makes me dirty or broken.”
The Hard Truth: Being "made new" doesn't mean you forget what happened.
When Moses’ hand turned back to normal, he still remembered what the leprosy looked like. He still remembered the man he killed 40 years prior. The "hard truth" is that trauma leaves a mark on your story, even if it no longer defines your identity. Forgiveness and healing aren't amnesia. You will still have "phantom pains" from your past. You have to stop waiting for the memory of your trauma to disappear before you feel "worthy." You are worthy while carrying the memory. Healing is when the memory no longer has the power to make you hide your hand.
The Flip: God says I am a New Creation.
The Truth: "The old has gone, the new is here!" (2 Corinthians 5:17).
My New Path: I am not a victim of what happened to me; I am a masterpiece in progress. My "hand" isn't diseased; it’s been made whole by the One who created it.
LESSON 3: The Voice: From "I Can’t" to "He Can”: Moses’ biggest hang-up was his stutter. He kept telling God, "I’m not a polished speaker." I do this too—I tell God I don't have the right degree, the right amount of money, or the "perfect" healed version of myself ready yet.
The Old Script: "I am inadequate and I don't have what it takes.”
The Hard Truth: God might not "fix" your weakness; He might just make you use it.
This is the hardest one. God didn't magically give Moses a silver tongue. He gave him Aaron to help, and He gave him His Presence. The "hard truth" is that you might always feel a little bit "not enough" or a little bit anxious. Inadequacy is often the requirement for the job, not a disqualification. If you felt "perfect," you wouldn't need God. You have to stop using "I'm still working on myself" as an excuse to stay stagnant. You have to speak even while your voice shakes. The neural pathways only change when you do the thing while you're afraid.
The Flip: God says I am Sufficient.
The Truth: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9).
My New Path: God doesn't need me to be a "superstar." He just needs me to be willing. My "weakness" is just the space where His strength shows off.